(C) <author>

ILLEGAL LICENSE v1.0

This software is free to use and modify in any way by anyone, provided they follow the following conditions:

1. The user of this software must not employ or be in an entity that employs a full-time legal team. A part-time legal team, or a legal team on retainer, is not in violation of this condition.

   1a. Users who are in violation of condition (1) may write the copyright holder to request specific permission to use the software if they wish.  No promises are made as to the existence of a reply or its contents.

2. Any redistribution of this software in any form (including on a bagel) must reproduce the above copyright notice, this list of conditions, and the following disclaimer in the distribution.

This software is provided "as is" and without warranty.  Don't come to us if it breaks somehow.  We're just as lost as you.